It's been a while. So I apologize to all one of you who read this. It's not about me, thats my title?..... I mean yeah it is. I was born. And from birth I'm trained on how to live my life to make it the best for me. Work hard in school. be successful get lots of money so you don't have to worry. Why do have to worry anyways? I have no fear in my life except for that of others. That they do not know the love of Christ Jesus. With an abusive father, I have no model in life. My mother does more than I can ask, but she also I must protect from my father. Love is much more deeply understood and appreciated when you understand what it is like with out it. From valley's I thought that I would never crawl out of, the Lord lifts me up. Just as important if not so, God humbles me from the mountain tops where I shout and say look what I have done. Oh the new year is here. Good I was tired of screwing up in 2009, now I can in 2010. Lately a "friend" has been beginning to push it too far. I kinda see it as my fault. I'm disrespectful to women constantly. I cuss like a sailor, maybe worse. When it's my impression to others that i'm challenged with, I will throw my character out the window. But i love being a man of character, why do i do that? This friend has begun to think that life is for him and for now. He has begun to cause damage to others emotionally and physically because he simply does not care enough for others to go out of his way to help. I've let it go to far. This year I will be a man after God's own heart. Help me to pursue Christ. To lose my life in hopes of helping yours. I will fail miserably and fall on my face. and when I do, help me to my feet so I may lead on